Andar wale darwaze ke paas mai pahunchne hi waala tha ki mujhe kuch aawaz aa rahi thi jo pat pat jaisi thi. Maine socha shayad uncle aur aunty chudai kar rahe honge isiliye main waha se chala gaya.Main agle din phir aaya. Is baar aunty aur uncle dono ghar pe hi the. Uncle 1st floor pe the. Maine aunty se jaake apni book mangi to aunty mere se puchne lagi ki kya mai kal unke ghar pe aaya tha? Maine kaha ki nahi. Mai to nahi aaya.Wo boli “jhuth mat bolo, tumhare uncle ne tumhe bahar jaate dekha tha”To maine unki baat ka sahi jawab de diya aur bola ki mujhe laga ki wo dono busy hai isiliye mai chala gaya.Wo boli ki kya tum sharma gaye the?Maine kaha “nahi lekin mai aap dono ko disturb nahi karna chahta tha”Wo boli “to join kar lete”Mere hosh ud gaye. Mere dimaag pe ek dam se jhatka lag gaya tha. Mai sochta hi reh gaya ki ye kya ho raha hai. Lekin mai itna bewakoof to nahi tha ki ye mauka mis kar deta. Kareeb 20-25 seconds baad maine jawaab diya “better late than never”. To aunty bhi. The tossled bed, echoes of passion mere hours distant, undid me and I collapsed in a heap on the floor of my room. I sobbed—great, racking sobs—until anger pushed its way to the surface. With the anger came the contents of my stomach, fortunately just a glass of wine and some nosh. Finger foods for polite, if strained, conversation. ‘You knew better,’ I scolded myself, lifting my bloodshot eyes to the mirror as I spat into the sink. Every fiber of my being had told me not to go there, that naught good could come of it. I did it anyway—because he wanted it and I wanted to please him. Simple, really. The reason why he wanted it was not lost on me, though. It added to my anger. Packing wouldn’t have taken nearly as long if not interrupted several times by dry heaves. I saw his eyes as I squeezed my own closed. Not the eyes I cherished—the ones that studied me with a mixture of amazement and adoration—but the placating, angst-filled eyes. The pleading eyes. I never wanted to see those.
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